Tag Archives: Stories

Stories and new works of creative writing, some of which form the seeds of Alan’s walkabout entertainment.

Will Ritson and The Ritson Museum

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Will Ritson (1808–1890) was born at Row Foot and grew up as any farmboy, learning as he would the ways of work, nature and the landscape. Always loving a good tale he became known for his elaborate lies, but it was not until he became the landlord of the Wastwater Hotel (now called the Wasdale Head Inn, (some accounts say The Huntsmans Inn)) did his fame begin to spread when all and sundry made the journey to Wasdale to hear “The Biggest Liar In The World.” Luminaries such as Wordsworth and De Quincey would first get stoned out of their Continue reading Will Ritson and The Ritson Museum→

The Island of Sound

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https://soundcloud.com/alan-alan-whittaker/complete-forecast I was uploading the above to Soundcloud and looking at the wav file I saw an island with towers, castles and forests so I made the picture. The words are of course Shakespeare as spoken by Caliban in The Tempest. My own words on Complete Forecast are slightly less worthy. Related posts: AND A STORY! Asphyxius Markham and The Book of Evil. Part 1: The Whitechapel Horror

Asphyxius Markham Meets The Whistler

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Outside it was dark, dark as a Thrumbling nail on the back of a Billymans helmet. Even looking through the mullioned window at the stygian depths beyond into the streets of Old London, there was a sense that something was lurking. Skulking about on some filthy scheme to wreak havoc on the popuponcery and dulgions of this world, too ready they to fall for some fesskookled pranjing jib jab or follymore hell bent on some vile besom felching episode. Taking my trusty pistol and beseervering stick I set forth to ascertain who or what was the cause of this unease. Continue reading Asphyxius Markham Meets The Whistler→

AND A STORY!

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Just so Hollipop has another reason to settle down with a glass of red, here’s another episode from something I’m sporadically writing “TALES FROM THE STANDUP CHAMELEON” From Book One entitled “THE ETERNAL SIDEKICK” It’s not had a final edit yet and it’s as mental as anything else I’ve written. PLAYTHING OF THE GODS ONE: Shit Happens!!! THE LEGEND OF THE JAGGA “In the days when King Gabballon Flesh Harrower was ravaging the land. The great stone of power, the Jagga held the world in harmony. Its strength and solidity, its eternal magic prevented chaos and doom befalling the land. Continue reading AND A STORY!→