Sorry it has been a while since I last wrote but time gets taken up with the therapies. I forget how long it’s been since my last (and first) epistle.
It’s a strange coincidence that’s prompted me to write. You will all have heard of Keith Richards’s latest adventure falling out of a tree in Thailand. Now don’t get me wrong, the fact that Keith can CLIMB a tree at his age with all the abuse he’s put his body through over the years should be celebrated, and to survive to bounce at the bottom. But it’s not the first time he’s done it; it must be a good twenty years ago now when he said to me one mental moonlit night.
“I bet you a crate of Jack Daniels that I can get to the top of that Oak tree before you!”
Well I don’t want to boast about it but Keith was forgetting the fact that I am naturally more adept at climbing a tree than he is, and an Oak tree at that. It’s as good as a stepladder to me and to cut a long story short the first bottle of Jack was opened by me in the branches of that steadfast British Oak and Keith was just downing the last drop of it when a bark from below startled him and wallop he was bouncing off every branch before landing softly on the dog pissing on the tree that caused him to plummet.
“For gods sake!” Said the dog “Watch where you’re jumping!”
“Fuck me!” Says Keith and calls to me “Quincey, there’s a bloody talking dog down here!” I’m not one to cast aspersions or blow my own trumpet (other than on the “Bethnal Green” album “Funky Punchbowl”) but he had spent an hour sitting in a tree talking to and drinking with a monkey who’d just whupped his ass in a tree climbing contest and he was surprised to hear a dog speak.
It wasn’t just any dog though, and a few good pulls from bottle numero two soon got his story out.
“it’s the moon see, it’s full, and whenever it’s full this is what happens to me. My name is Jimmy Deluca and I was on holiday in Norway a few years back when one night I was out walking. Have you ever seen the Fjords by moonlight? Beautiful. Well anyway, one minute I was minding my business and the next this bloody huge wolf had bounded up and bit me then it buggered off.” The next night, Full moon, my head starts pounding and the next thing you know I’m on all fours howling at the moon.”
So you see, he was a Werewolf. I say WOLF, but in fact, he looked more of a sort of Labrador – Collie cross with a bit of Spaniel around the ears. Anyhow, Keith, Jimmy and me got on well from that point. He came back to Keith’s place with us, and Keith picked up his guitar and started playing. Before any of us knew what happening Jimmy starts making this howling sound and it was incredible, I kid you not. Keith’s eyes lit up, I grabbed my harp, and we were jamming.
At the end of three months, Jimmy (who by the way when he wasn’t in canine form was not a bad looking geezer but I understood why the ears looked so odd when I saw the human version) had transformed himself into Buddy Wolf we pulled together a few other guys and The Buddy Wolf Sound Machine hit the road. He went from strength to strength and stardom. Then suddenly after a couple of years he vanished.
I never saw him again, until last week. The same bloody day Keith falls out of a tree in Thailand. Jimmy walks into the lounge here in the clinic. He had changed mind, lost a lot of weight. But he looks straight at me, and bursts into tears. He hasn’t told me the full story yet, but it seems that after that last brilliant gig at the Budokan he’d gone back home and had been there three days when the moon comes out. He goes all wolf and he’s needing a bite to eat. Now all the time I’ve known him Jimmy/Buddy was a vegetarian and when he was in his wolf state, he had to battle with his canine instincts for meat. However, he did it, though he mainly ate red vegetables. This night in question he wasn’t able to control himself, broke into a greengrocers shop, and began gorging himself on red peppers, tomatoes, red onions, radishes and chillies. These caused his mouth to foam and drool horribly and when the police turned up at the greengrocers (he was a noisy eater as a dog and somebody must have seen and heard him) with a tranquilliser gun. Bang! He was out cold, when woke up he was in an operating theatre. Or so he thought, it turns out he was in a test lab. Now you do not have to tell me what that is about*.
Anyhow, it was seven years before he got out, whatever it was they did to him, and he will not go into details stopped him from changing back to human form. It took seven years to overcome it, and as a man, it was easy for him to break out. Those places are built to keep animals in and people out. The other way around animals can easily get in but they are not that stupid, and people can easily break out. Which he did, letting all his fellow inmates out with him.
After a time he puts his life back together. Buddy Wolf had long been forgotten, so he created a new identity and act. GROWLIO, THE SONG AND DANCE WEREWOLF. It wasn’t the same though, he managed to make a living for himself and was happy enough. But the years in the lab had taken their toll. So, he came up here for the same reasons as me. Believe me though. He can still sing with best of them…
…Get well soon Keith; you still owe me four bottles of JD.
*Read my story on my page at the site below.